If you want a test...

Repeating a fallacious claim he made in early March, President Trump said on Monday, "If somebody wants to be tested right now, they'll be able to be tested." Not that anyone with an IQ merely equaling his or her age to go along with a 6th grade education could possibly believe this charlatan anymore, it's just not true. I communicated with my health care provider Kaiser this week about my desire to get a Covid-19 test and was turned down cold.

A doctor called me back and after listening to my tale of how I thought I contracted the coronavirus in February which led to two desperate weeks of continuous coughing fits, especially all night long, and I still feel fatigued generally and short of breath two months later. I said I'd like an antibody test to confirm I had it and recovered to put my mind at ease that I probably won't get it in my depressed condition and also I would participate it blood plasma therapy which has been said to ameliorate the conditions of afflicted, desperately ill patients, as I have donated blood products at least 140 times in my lifetime anyway. The doc was unimpressed and said Kaiser doesn't offer antibody testing, period. She added the speculative diagnosis that I probably had "the flu," even though I dutifully received my flu shot in the fall.

Then I asked that, because there was no chance of my knowing if I was already afflicted by it in the past and being in the risk group (over 65), if I felt sick again, how would I go about getting a test? Or should I protectively hunker down alone in my house till 2021 or 2022 when the pandemic might, or might not, be over. She laid out the many guidelines, which were daunting and not very promising of leading to a test anytime soon.

If I got sick with the supposedly typical characteristics of this novel and poorly understood virus, fever, diarrhea, nausea, loss of smell, respiratory distress and pressure in the chest, and not least, where I had traveled to (nowhere) and who I was in contact with (nobody), then I could call Kaiser and set up a video exam. Then if the doc thought I merited further diagnosis, they would prescribe a flu test. When that came back negative days later, they would send me a long medical questionnaire to fill out. Then maybe if I fit into all the right boxes, I could be prescribed to receive a test which in itself would come back days after that.

Only in Trump's America. I'm still in Lockdown, with no test available for the likes of me because I am not currently desperately sick and had traveled to somewhere suspect or was in contact with someone who somehow had gotten a test that came back positive.