Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Johnny, I hardly know ye

An open letter to my middle child, whom I called Johnny.


Dear John,

I am sending this holiday note so it’ll arrive a little early (12/23). Enclosed is an article by Al Gore from Mother Jones magazine. I have entered a subscription to this important journal for you. I hope to take you, and Dan if he’d like to come, and Jim, out to lunch on Christmas Day. I’ll be at the Lost Dog Café in Westover at noon on Thurs. 12/25. I’d love it if you come.

I have taken [date] off from work, your 21st birthday, and I will take you out to lunch on that happy day too! On [date] at noon I’ll be at the Lost Dog Café in Westover. I hope to see you then, too.

I hope you are well.

Love Dad

[I sent this holiday greeting to the house two miles away where my children lived until recently, when it was sold and the only phone number that I had for them was disconnected. Their Mother has refused to give me their new address.

All of my then-minor children walked out of my life permanently in March of 2003, when the "fiduciary" suit "they" filed against me was thrown out of court as a "harassment" petition. The court found it to be "unconscionable" and "nothing more than keeping the divorce action alive by [wife] and her counsel [William B. Reichhardt of Fairfax], who are totally unsatisfied with the results of the equitable distribution hearing."

Ultimately she had to pay me almost $50,000 in sanctions and legal costs, while I lost my children forever. In contempt of all manly and fatherly logic and in mockery of our court system and the custody order, I haven’t seen John, or any of my children, for more than a few minutes in toto since then. Not a one of them has communicated a single word to a single relative of mine in the intervening half decade.

It is against Public Policy for minor children to be parties in a divorce action. My situation is validation of this sacred societal norm, which only a certain type of parent, and a select breed of divorce lawyers, would violate. The victims of this breach of trust are children.]


Kelly said...

Wow. I am so sad for you.

No matter what happened, I'm sure they miss having you around. I don't think anyone can argue that it is unfair for your ex-wife to keep you from contacting them. Children need their fathers just as much as their mothers.

Good luck.

Just_because_today said...

How very sad. I applaud your perseverance and you won't stop because they have moved. You'll continue trying to find them again and as they get older and see and think more clearly, they'll try to find you on their own.

Susan said...

Merry Christmas, Peter, I know that the holidays are rough for people like you and I with zero family due to their own choosing (except in my case, I do have a spouse now).

Sunshine said...

Always hoping not to accidentally miss one of them... if they should reach out to contact you...
Wondering... how long you will have to wait.
Aching for the times together that are being lost... with each passing day.. month.. year.
In spite of all of that, may Christmas be with you

jeanne said...

peter, this is the saddest thing I've ever read.

i thought of you at church tonight--you might have enjoyed it, majestic music.

I hope you have a merry christmas peter, and no, you should never give up.


Rhea said...

Hi Peter. I'm sorry that J. didn't meet you for lunch on his birthday, and that you and your sons haven't been in contact for a long time. It sounds like you were a good dad.

Makita said...

Wow. I am so sorry, Peter. My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine not having my father in my life.
<<< HUGS >>>