Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Old Soft Shoe Routine

I agree with Jay Leno that we finally found something the Decider is really good at, dodgeball. I'll bet he was a schoolyard whiz at dodging in grade school. I'll bet at Yale he could really execute those cheerleader flips. If he had been around during the Vietnam War, when he was a pilot in the National Guard but seemingly absent, I'll bet he could really corkscrew those jets into tight turns and dizzying dives.

He exhibited extraordinary reflexes in deftly dodging both on-target shoes thrown at his face from a short distance away by an enraged Iraqi journalist. I presume that fellow is not representative of his countrymen and women, and how did he get both shoes off so quickly?

I stand with the Decider on this one. He done us proud in his moment under actual fire. I guess he has HTFU a little since that day in September seven years ago when he flew all over the country, perhaps following the Great Bird Hunter's orders, looking for the deepest bunker he could hunker down in until the all-clear sounded.

What division he has introduced into the country! I recently saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that read, "[The Decider] Runs The Country." I didn't exactly know what message the guy was trying to convey and felt like asking him if the saying wasn't missing an "i," as in "[The Decider] Ruins The Country." But change is coming so I kept silent.

The recent election didn't help the divisiveness much (aside from the outcome). I was recently running with a fellow I don't know really well and we were talking about Sarah Palin's church in Wasilla being firebombed. I said I thought it was absolutely despicable, dangerous, destructive and potentially deadly, and the perpetrator should be prosecuted. My running mate agreed and said how magnanimous Palin showed herself to be in issuing a statement apologizing if the arson was connected to the "undeserved negative attention" she garnered by running for national election. I disagreed with this characterization of her and said the statement showed that she won't let any opportunity pass to sling aspersions at the press. We fell into silence and he shortly remembered a cut-off just ahead that he had always meant to explore.

Thanks Decider. Or is that Divider?


Joe the Novelist said...

It's got to be the "division maker." It can't be the "divider," since that's a real word.

peter said...

How about The Divisioner?