Before the 2006 NYCM I bought an Aspen "running" watch at a drug store counter for $15. It was single function stopwatch/wristwatch and it took me through the five boroughs, exactly recording my time of 3:52:34. Manufactured in China, I call it my General Shake watch, imagining him to be the inventor of the timing device as well as the brother of the more famous General Tso, creator of the tasty chicken dish. The timer's instructions are as hilarious as they are incomprehensible. I am not making this up.
The instructions are a half page of written text and a page and a half of schematics with brief explanations accompanying each diagram. They are a little hard to follow, despite the lavish illustrations. For instance:
STANDARD SIGNAL AND FUNCTOR
TO SHOW ALARUM TIME PRESS S2 UNBEND, REMAIN NERMAL.
It identies the power source as
The really funny stuff is in the written instruction section:
MORE FUNTION SWIMMING SPORTS WATCH INSTRUCTIONS
This product would be insuranced all functions well by our company, since you buy it within one year. If the product malfunction, our company would injust or repair it free.
But when following conditions happened, you should pay the ray material fee.
. When you didn't obey the pay attention matters lead to the product damage.
, Battary were used up and appearance fade, scar etc. You must show the insutance card when it repaired.
the retail dealer's seal:
(The card will effective after sealed by te retail dealer.)
PAY ATTENTION MATTERS
...electron meter can bear the generalshake. But it must be avoid within strong collide. Strong shake. Used rudely and falled...
General Shake wrote this section, I'm guessing. Wait til you read about the sofy cloth.