An open letter to my son Dan.

Dear Dan,

Hey, let’s get together for lunch at the Lost Dog Café in Westover at noon this Labor Day! I haven’t heard from you in over two years, or seen you in over six years, so it’s about time for us to catch up!

I used to have an address for you, the house in Arlington where you resided with your Mother ever since she filed for divorce from me in 2001. I always mailed letters and made phone calls to you at that house, although for years they have all gone unreturned and unanswered.

Last fall she sold the house and disconnected the phone. When I asked your Mother for your new address, she refused to give it to me. So to invite you out to a restaurant on Labor Day, as I have done on every major holiday and birthday for years, I have to resort to this open letter on the Internet.

I am sorry that the Court had cause to find that you three minor boys were involved in the divorce "up to [your] armpits." After saying he had a pretty good idea of how that happened, the Judge worried that you and your two brothers, all minors, were going to suffer great emotional distress and permanent harm if you were not removed from the litigation.

Unfortunately, four months later you three boys removed your little life savings from the bank and "retained" (at $425 an hour!) divorce lawyer Joseph A. Condo of McLean, VA to sue me for a supposed fiduciary breach. Since you were too tender in years to be on court papers, your Mother stood in for you as "next friend."

I haven’t spent a meaningful moment with any of you since "your" case was thrown out as a "harassment petition" and your Mother was sanctioned almost $10,000 in this "attempt to interfere with [my] relationship with [my] children."

That was in 2003, and the litigation finally died down in 2005 after the resulting appeal, which Condo signed the pleadings for and argued along with divorce lawyer William B. Reichhardt of Fairfax, was found to be procedurally barred, without merit and/or unjustified and your Mother paid almost $40,000 of my costs as ordered.

I have family news to relate to you about all of the aunts and uncles and cousins etc. on my side of the family, none of whom has heard from you in over half a decade. Now that you’re an adult, please consider that some persons might view this type of severe (and unwarranted) attitude on your part as showing a lack of compassion, or even humanity.

So don’t be square, be there;
at the café, on Labor Day;
at twelve noon, see you soon!

Love, Dad.