Hail Meb

There's a larger story here, that Meb Keflezighi, born in Africa, is as American as apple pie. Some people I respect grumble about his Americanism (he was born in Eritiea, and consider that tongue-twisting name) and maybe I'll get into that later.

Meb: He won the silver medal in the marathon in the Athens Olympics (2004). He sorta played it safe in the race and didn't go after Stefano Baldini for the gold. But he medaled for the USA, the first long-distance running medal for the USA in three decades.

A few weeks later, I was attending a baseball game in the Tropicana Dome in Tampa. They announced during the 7th inning stretch that there was a special American athlete in attendance that night, Meb Keflezighi. I started clapping.

The rest of the audience was silent. Who?

The announcer continued, "The silver medalist at the Olympic Marathon."

The Tropicana Dome erupted into cheers.

A few weeks later Meb ran the NYCM and finished 2d, to a Kenyan. A cash purse, don't you know. Can Americans ever seize the prize from persons whose existence is defined and controlled by the money derived from a contest?

Meb was fading. He didn't even qualify for the 2008 Olympics, His friend Ryan Shay died during that qualifying race in Central Park.

No American medaled in 2008.

I thought Meb was through. Too old, and hurt too. (He had suffered a dog attack while on a training run and had hurt his hamstring,)

Meb ran London this year and did a nice time. He was ninth in 2:09:21, first American, but nice guys finish last. Ryan Hall is the new American darling. He finished 3d at Boston at 2:09 :40. You can't equate marathon courses, both Boston and New York are considered very difficult.

I have run against Meb. A few days after London, at a 3-Miler in the District, I ran and beat him. Hooray for me.

Meb was pacing a politician. How American can you get?

I was dying to get this picture taken with an American hero. Meb WAS American long distance running.

Uh, Meb IS American long distance running. He won the NYCM today, wearing (and pointing to) an American singlet as he entered Central Park, at the spot where fellow American Ryan Shay collapsed and died in 2007.

Meb outdueled 4-time Kenyan winner of the Boston Marathon, Robert Cheruiot, in the final miles, Ryan Hall didn't make it to this closing party, finishing fourth in 2:10:36. Meb cried afterwards, knowing that he did it for a fellow American Ryan Shay.

I cried too when a friend called me and told me what Meb had done. She thought that Meb wasn't quite American but I knew. Meb has brought American long-distance running back to where Frank Shorter left it in the seventies. (I have a Frank Shorter story too, that's how old I am.)

American hero, Meb Keflezighi. Woot Meb.

Ugly ugly!

The endless headphone debate rages on. The RRCA came out with a No-Headphones icon to be posted at races. And a good-looking icon it is, too. It sort of looks like someone who has just come from a halloween party at the mansion on the hill in Psycho.

The headphones-in-running discussion never had any good come out of it. I used to have an opinion on it til I was misquoted on the subject and now I keep my own counsel about it.

In a post-race dinner-gathering of friends once, I spoke about how I thought it was ridiculous to wear headphones because it detracted from the experience of running-being outside and seeing and hearing things that you wouldn't ordinarily encounter. But since I believe in individual choice, I also said that headphone bans were ridiculous.

One of my good friends at that dinner is a reporter. In an article she published internationally that night about the subject, she quoted me anonomously as saying that wearing headphones was assinine.

If you ever see a comment of yours in print, always claim you were misquoted, no matter what. It gives you wiggle-room. But in fact I was misquoted. I never said that.

What I really said was that wearing headphones was asinine.

I wonder what shade of lipstick that garish icon is wearing?

The Sofy Cloth

My fifteen dollar made-in-China Aspen Sports Watch came with some pretty specific instructions about its “funtion.” Yesterday I shared with you how its insurance card said “this product would be insuranced all functions well” by the company. The owner’s manual grabbed your attention right away. (Below: My Aspen Watch still going strong at 3:37 during the NYCM, even if I'm not.)

PAY ATTENTION MATTERS

. Becatse the electron meter made by precise electron spares, so you can’t dismantle sillfully, except appoint expert.
. It can’t be pushed button underwater while you swimming.
. It must be repaired right now by the appoint expert while there have some water vapor.
. The electron meter can bear the generalshake. But it must be avoid within strong collide. Strong shake. Used rudely and falled on the spolit place.
. It can’t be used in extremely hot or bitter cold weather.
. It can’t be washed in chemistry matters. Soap. Otherwise it will corroded the rubber sheet of the surface. So it can only be cleaned in sofy cloth.
. It can’t be carried in strong electric field and static electricity cytle etc.
. Lot electricity will be lossed if long using cool light crystal.
. Cool light is not to be seen under sunlight.

I have enjoyed this little instruction booklet even more than the watch, which I don’t use anymore. The timepiece sits on a shelf fifteen months after my 2006 NYCM, still showing that marathon’s net time of 3:52:34, with its “alarum” going off at 7 am every morning.

But from reading these delightful directions, I know the Aspen Sports Watch can “bear the generalshake” so long as the “strong collide” is avoided. If you invented this watch, you would want it to bear your name too, and you certainly would be appalled if it was “used rudely.”

I think General Shake created the “sofy cloth” too, with which you can clean “the rubber sheet of the surface” without having to resort to washing it “in chemistry matters.” I’ll bet the sofy cloth could clean anything. (Right: Is that a beauty on my right wrist or what?)

That’s what I would like to obtain the franchise for, the sofy cloth. Anybody know how I can contact General Shake?

General Shake

Before the 2006 NYCM I bought an Aspen "running" watch at a drug store counter for $15. It was single function stopwatch/wristwatch and it took me through the five boroughs, exactly recording my time of 3:52:34. Manufactured in China, I call it my General Shake watch, imagining him to be the inventor of the timing device as well as the brother of the more famous General Tso, creator of the tasty chicken dish. The timer's instructions are as hilarious as they are incomprehensible. I am not making this up.

The instructions are a half page of written text and a page and a half of schematics with brief explanations accompanying each diagram. They are a little hard to follow, despite the lavish illustrations. For instance:

STANDARD SIGNAL AND FUNCTOR

TO SHOW ALARUM TIME PRESS S2 UNBEND, REMAIN NERMAL.

It identies the power source as

(Bettery: Cr2016)

The really funny stuff is in the written instruction section:

MORE FUNTION SWIMMING SPORTS WATCH INSTRUCTIONS

INSURANCE CARD

This product would be insuranced all functions well by our company, since you buy it within one year. If the product malfunction, our company would injust or repair it free.
But when following conditions happened, you should pay the ray material fee.
. When you didn't obey the pay attention matters lead to the product damage.
, Battary were used up and appearance fade, scar etc. You must show the insutance card when it repaired.
Date buyed:
the retail dealer's seal:
(The card will effective after sealed by te retail dealer.)

Next Up:

PAY ATTENTION MATTERS

...electron meter can bear the generalshake. But it must be avoid within strong collide. Strong shake. Used rudely and falled...

General Shake wrote this section, I'm guessing. Wait til you read about the sofy cloth.