How I feel

On Thanksgiving morning, I called the only phone number I have for any of my three now-adult children who are thoroughly estranged from me due to my seven years of survival divorce litigation against my ex-wife (and them--she had them sue me as minors during the litigation, and they haven't spoken to me since the day "their" case got tossed). It was disconnected. So I drove by my ex's former house two miles away, the last address I have for them. I knocked on the door but received no answer. I could see through the barren porch window that the interior was empty and the house was being gutted.

I knew the ex had moved away, having remarried this summer. She has been hiding her new address from me and thereby any contact I might have with any of my children through her. I posit this for you: Have all of your children VANISH forever in the next moment, and see how you feel for the next half-decade.

So then I went to work the finish line at my club's 5-mile Turkey Trot in Alexandria,. Do-good work to generate a feel-good glow on a holiday. Later that day I went to a tofurkey dinner at my girlfriend's house that turned out to be a very short evening as she gave me my walking papers. I'd been with her for awhile. She's a non-runner and always resented this part of my separateness from her. Beyond that factual observation, I have nothing bad to say about her. I miss her.

This year just keeps getting more and more momentous.