Friday, September 21, 2018

A fugitive

I'm in hiding, or at least my car is.  It failed the annual safety inspection program in my state, because unbeknownst to me, sometime in the last ten months thieves entered my car and stole my spare wheel along with the special unlocking key tool for the particular antitheft lug nut on each wheel.

My car is a 2015 with 15,000 miles on it, what could be unsafe about it?  The safety inspection law is a ripoff, in place solely to advance the interests of the auto parts industry and car repair service stations, and to collect more revenue for the state in the form of its annual fee.  The last state I lived in, Colorado, got rid of its safety inspection law decades ago, realizing the true remedy for driving a defective vehicle is the issuance of an unsafe vehicle ticket by the police with its two-point penalty.

My car failed because the inspection station couldn't get my wheels off since I no longer had the special key, which was news to me, and so the inspector slapped a rejection decal on my windshield, good for 16 days while I fixed the unsafe aspect of my vehicle.  Mind you, the unsafe aspect of my vehicle wasn't the absence of a spare wheel since it was stolen, which I could understand as a safety issue, but because the station couldn't get my wheels off without the special antitheft unlocking key for one lug nut on each wheel, which special key is unavailable for sale to the consumer because it is so special.

So I fixed that problem by paying $72 to the Nissan dealer to remove the four remaining special antitheft lug nuts from my wheels (it's ironic, isn't it, that my wheel was stolen despite the presence on my car of this special, and useless, antitheft feature; furthermore I have no doubt that all wheel thieves have the same universal special antitheft lug nut key that dealers do) and replace those special lug nuts with regular lug nuts that my lug nut wrench can remove.  My car was okay to drive until the seventeenth with its scarlet letter pasted onto its windshield but now its illegal; subject to a $50 ticket from roving meter maids so may car now resides deep in my driveway while I wait for the first to arrive (so I can get an extra month going forward on the annual program).

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